AND WE WILL NEVER BE ROYALS

[journalname]

[Wednesday evening, as the posters promised, it is time for a group dinner!

Corrin and Asgore appear to have gone all out on this. There's not many materials to decorate the dining hall, but someone has found the candles in the storage closet and set them out on the long tables to try and replace the flickering fluorescent lights with something a little more peaceful. The spread is simple, but fairly varied; there's a few different kinds of soup and sandwiches, and even what appears to be a few simple homemade pies.

For now, the mood is warm and mellow. The hosts and helpers are milling around, making sure that everyone is comfortable and well-fed, but this is just a dinner party for now. Games and entertainment can come later, after everyone has utterly lost their minds from boredom!]

Comments

[enhancements]

[...That...sure is the robot passing out pie, good lord. Things he wasn't exactly prepared for today.

Wesker's sort of holding up the walls still, because that's apparently just what he does at these sorts of things, but he's not going to complain about the interaction, either.]

...I don't see why not, if you're offering.

[What standards do robots even have for what makes pie look acceptable.]

[dangerousfool]

[It's not a hideous mess so maybe it's edible. Just maybe. Here, take the pie]

I thought you'd be talking with everyone, you look like the sociable type. Why are you all the way here?

[You're totally a social butterfly, Wesker]

[enhancements]

...Do I.

[You know, he's been called a lot of things - some people in Umbrella tend to call him creepy, a few have tried to be tactful and call him stoic - but "sociable" hasn't really been among the things he tends to hear.]

I'm just keeping an eye on things for now. Seeing how they go.

[dangerousfool]

[Wheatley is silent for a moment]

Do you...really think something's going to happen here? In front of everyone?

[He had come here partly to be safer, but somehow thinking something may actually happen isn't helping him feel safe]

[enhancements]

Oh, certainly not. The whole point of this...party is to ensure that nothing does.

[At least that much is prompt; he doubts it will, even if it has potential to.]

I just want to see to it that it goes well. ...That, and Asgore asked me to be here.

[dangerousfool]

Ah, the king. True, I think he made most of this stuff -- a better job than I'd have expected a goat to do. Goats aren't known for their culinary expertise.

[He knows Asgore is a monster, but...yeah, it's hard not to think of him as a goat when he looks like a goat]

You know, I have started to think nothing's going to happen, nobody will die. Almost everyone seems to be happy enough these days, nobody seems about to kill anyone...

...I mean, I want to get out and all, but I wouldn't kill someone so I can get out. Would you?

[enhancements]

[There's a bit of a pause before he replies, but when he does it's firm enough.]

...No. Killing at this point...it wouldn't be worth it.

[It wouldn't be worth the risk, more like, but there are some things you don't volunteer in polite company.]

[dangerousfool]

See? You get it!

[Wheatley definitely doesn't get the implications of 'at this point']

Meanwhile I'm going to try to negotiate with the Transmitter. I think I did a good first impression, I'll manage to strike a deal with them at some point.

[You don't want to know all he's planning]

[enhancements]

Oh, do you think she can be negotiated with?

[This is going to be. Interesting? "Interesting" is a good word for what this is probably going to end up being.]

[dangerousfool]

She must want something, right? So all I have to do is offer what she wants, and all will be okay.

Now, what could she want...?

[enhancements]

In terms of material things, I can't say I have any idea.

She has said she wants us all to...stay with her, whatever that means - and that's a little counterproductive to leaving this place.

[dangerousfool]

Oh, that's not too difficult. All we need to do is clone everyone here. I know someone who can do it, I'll make an offer with that.

[He's not kidding]

[enhancements]

[...Actually...]

...If she won't do it on your word alone, I...likewise have the ability to provide something like that. Just as a thought.

[Neither is he, um.]

[dangerousfool]

That's perfect! This'll work. [He'll make the offer next week, hah]

The only problem would be making a copy of myself. That's impossible, I know that. My programming can't be replicated.

[enhancements]

...Ask her if any AI will work for her purposes, and not you specifically.

[He's got so many damn downloads of the Red Queen, man.]

[dangerousfool]

You know, you may be right. I think she was trying to get a different AI, anyways. She told me bringing me here was an accident. There's one AI in the same facility I was in I think she may have wanted to bring but it's inert right now. Too bad, she'd have really liked her.

[enhancements]

"Her"...?

[...That, like so many things Wheatley says, sounds like a story.]

[dangerousfool]

The AI that directs the tests at the facility. She loves doing that. You have no idea how many test subjects have died in those tests, it's tragic.

[Wheatley is convinced GLaDOS would love this place]

Not that she'd be able to do much unless she had access to turrets, neurotoxins and bottomless pits.

[enhancements]

[...She sounds like a winner.]

Exactly how partial to neurotoxin is she? Given that the one I'm familiar with is quite fond of suddenly and inexplicably killing our scientists with it.

[dangerousfool]

Extremely partial to neurotoxins. She took over the facility by flooding it with neurotoxins on the Bring Your Daughter to Work Day. Very unexpected.

[enhancements]

On Bring Your Daughter to Work Day.

[hahahahoooooly shit.]

That's actually terrible.