trustfelled | come out of hiding, i'm right here beside you

come out of hiding, i'm right here beside you

[A while after the execution has ended, everyone will find a simple note slipped under their door.]

If you don't want to be alone after everything that's happening, some of us will be in the dining room. Even if you decide not to come, please remember that you aren't alone here.

[The note isn't signed, but the handwriting is feminine and neat.

For anyone who decides to come, there's a good array of food laid out on the table. There are some small and simple cakes, cookies, and pastries, a healthy amount of okonomiyaki, okayu, and other Japanese dishes (with a focus on rice and eggs), along with curry. In addition, there are pancakes, and a large pot of soup. It looks like a few people collaborated to make enough food for everyone here.

Just like the meal they shared together earlier in the week, the candles from the storage room lend a more peaceful light than the fluorescent lights above.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Yes. [ Though... she seems to consider a moment before clarifying, ] I cannot help but admire ambition, and the drive to achieve those goals. I suppose you could even say that I'm stuck in the future. So to me, it always seems sad to see people trapped by the present, or... the past. Arietta's need for vengeance, for example. I'm not sure if that could traditionally be called myopic, but to me, that can't constitute "ambition" or even "a dream." It's much closer to a mere "duty," which is nothing to live for.

[ She hums, and sighs. She looks tired. ]

... What of your, Tsubasa. What do you dislike?

[ The position probably isn't helping matters, either. Maybe she should lay down? ]

Stuck in the future, you say? That's an interesting perspective. One you don't often see. It's far more common for people to be shackled by their pasts, or to live in the moment. I think to call a fixation on vengeance, or even justice, a bit myopic, is sound in its own way.

[ The difference between ambition and duty, or debts to be repaid...

Still, the question gives her pause. A trait in someone that she actually dislikes...the more she considers it, the more she actually draws a blank. ]

...I don't think I have one.

Edited 2017-06-11 15:47 (UTC)

[ It's true, the position is a little strange. She should, perhaps, change it. But especially when Tsubasa traced her scars, she didn't want to. Still, that response... ]

... I should have seen that coming, that you can accept all things. [ Her smile seems oddly fond at that. ]

[ It might not be something that so urgently needs to be changed. At least for the moment, Tsubasa isn't malcontent. ]

You make it sound like I'm some kind of paragon, when you put it like that. It's hardly that sort of thing. I just believe that the line between positive and negative traits can be rather thin.

[ Though she appreciates the smile. ]

Ah, yes, it's my turn, right...you said you live in the future, right? So, what's something you've always wanted to try?

[ Nachetanya's smile turns a little bit impish, away from the fondness. And her hand reaches out, to brush back Tsubasa's bangs a little unnecessarily. She ... ]

So does that mean that you could consider my faults to be positive because their mine?

[ Without giving her time to answer, though!! ]

Though to keep up the game, my answer ought to be "falling in love" or "sex," shouldn't it...

So you admit it's a game after all, then!

[ Is that really the part of that she should be latching onto, here? ]

It's not nice to play with people's hearts, Nachetanya. Certainly not the way to go about falling in love.

Oh no, did I?!

[ She leans down a little now, getting closer to Tsubasa's face with her own.Her lips seem to puff out a little. ]

If I kissed you, would that be a good enough retraction for you to forget?

[ In a rare moment of embarrassment, at the closeness of their faces, Tsubasa gulps and looks away, her arms giving out behind her as her upper body starts to sink into the mattress. ]

A-amnesia doesn't work that way, Nachetanya. Of all the causes I've read, getting kissed is not even close to one of them.

[ This is it, she's resigned herself. She's going to have her first kiss on this mattress. A game of chicken gone too far, that's the story she'll have to tell.

Well, even if that's the case, it's still more tame than what almost happened in that shed during Spring Break, by miles, but, she can't help but go flush. ]

[ That Tsubasa looked away already shows that, for the "game," Nachetanya has won. She found the limit. She remains there, close to the other, and she actually does lean in more, breaking the distance between them. Their upper bodies press together, but she doesn't go in for the other's lips. Instead she leans in to whisper her answer. ]

I want to see a world at peace, and see what that can look like. I know that isn't a satisfying answer, but that's what consumes me. In that world, perhaps I would like to fall in love, though.

I...I see.

[ It takes her a moment to even process that; more than her chest pounding, her temples are flaring, the onset of a migraine that strains behind her eyes. She's almost too focused on the sudden headache to focus on the fact that their bodies are touching, now, that Nachetanya is whispering again-- ]

That's...a very noble goal, Nachetanya. It's a satisfying answer to me. More than satisfactory.

[ And she means that. ]

It does make me seem a lot more grand than I am.

[ Still whispered, still close. She uses her one arm to reach out and brush the side of Tsubasa's face, perhaps a little bit too familiar, too playful. ]

Should I ask my next question?

You just did.

[ The gesture would be romantic if it weren't so obviously just an attempt to harp on her reaction. ]

...But I'll let you ask another one, since you clearly have something on your mind.

[ She knows this question might lead to a darker path, same as some things in her profile. But if Tsubasa wanted them to know each other, it can't all be their game or their hobbies. Besides, Tsubasa probably has bigger questions for her too ]

Why did your dislikes include "being home?"

[ ...Game over, then. ]

Because I don't like spending time at home. After school, every day, I spend time at the library until it closes. And on weekends and holidays, when the library is closed, I go on strolls through town.

[ She's aware that she's repeating herself, here. ]

I try to only stay there for as long as I have to be.

[ There's more to that, of course there is. ]

It would be unfitting for me to ask "why?" After all, you have your own question to ask.

[ Why does there have to be? ]

I do. You can ask your "why" after I'm done with my question, but if that'll be the case, I'll ask something relevant. You're not foolish, Nachetanya. I think you have an idea of the situation.

[ Despite her migraine, despite her pounding chest, despite the fact that they're still close like this, a hair's breadth away, in their outfits...Tsubasa sounds calm and cool, all over again.

Or, a better word would probably be "detached". ]

I want to know about your family.

[ Because Tsubasa isn't shallow, and there's no way that every single one of her likes and dislikes could be so shallow as that. She ... exhales. She should have expected that. Actually, no, more accurately: she did ]

I have a father, mother, and older brother. There are some relatives in other countries, but... I've not met most of them, and Piena's ministers don't consider it a good idea for us to get in contact with them. My older brother, Clyetum, died when I was fairly young. I don't actually have too many memories of him. My mother, Rashetanya, actually passed a little later than than that, so she's gone now too. As for my father...

[ which, of course, is the root of this question ]

His name is Nalphtum, and he's the king of the Piena, though that's now almost in name only. Six years ago, he went mad and declared that heretical religious cults that worshipped the Evil God had taken root in Piena, and began a great purge of numerous citizens and aristocrats. Eventually, his delusion was so great that he deemed that I was a heretic as well. I was banished from the palace and my family, and he named the prince of another country as his heir. When he put out a bounty for my head or the heads of other "heretics," a civil war erupted in Piena as people wanted to claim the bounty and gain a high title at court.

[ . . . ]

Eventually, the people who had supported me came out on top during that conflict. My father is still on the throne, but he's now a mere puppet: the Prime Minister and the Head Priest now run everything, and "Augustra" was added to my name to show that I'm the undisputed heir apparent when my father passes.

Edited 2017-06-11 17:44 (UTC)

...I see.

[ For a father to call for the death of his own daughter...even if he had went mad, she can't imagine what that time must have been like for Nachetanya. And while she's grateful that Nachetanya is still here to tell the tale, to essentially have divided her country (which, she reminds herself, is no small or weak territory by any means...)

It must have been a brutal thing to go through. To see your father turn into something hysterical before your very eyes...

Tsubasa pulls herself back up, to face her properly. Her position is a bit of a strain on her back, but it's only proper to meet her gaze correctly, if this is the road they're to go down.

She reaches for her arm and takes her hand in both of hers. Her breath is even, her tone soft. ]

I'm sorry to hear about your mother and brother. ...And your father, of course, and your people. But most of all, I'm sorry for you, that you had to go through such a horrible thing.

[ But she knows how brutal family can be. Transmitter-san had said that family gives you strength, but, Tsubasa still doesn't think that's entirely true.

They're just supposed to. ]

...My mother gave birth to me when she was somewhere close to my age, from what I can tell. My father was absent my whole life; I don't even know who he is, or have any idea what his name could be. But when I was very young, my mother married another man, my first step-father. I only have a vague recollection of him, but my recollection of my mother is even more vague, because she took her own life when I wasn't older than three. My step-father, at the time, eventually became engaged to another woman, my step-mother, and when he passed away, she met my current step-father and married him when I was around seven years old. It's a bit of a complicated family tree, a mess of a string of marriages and re-marriages, but those two strangers, so far divorced beyond my father and mother, are more or less the only real family I've ever known, the only ones I was really old enough to remember distinctly.

[ She wants to keep it to the facts, like she did during the trial, but... ]

They only let me stay with them as a means of keeping up appearances. Neither of them had wanted to face the scandal of abandoning an orphan, but behind closed doors, they...can't stand the sight of me. On good days, it's as if I don't exist. It's like I'm an invisible guest in my own home, and I don't even have a room to call my own. On bad days, they react violently to my presence. When I try to de-escalate the situation, it simply makes it worse, so...on some nights, when I know that staying there would make things worse, I simply don't come home, and sleep in the park or somewhere under the stars.

[ She speaks of it impassively, as if she's relating a rumor she heard, as if she's divorced from the situation herself. Not a hint of sadness, or anger, or disgust strains at her voice. She just continues to hold her hand and speaks calmly. She hasn't told this to anyone before, but... ]

...Obviously, this doesn't leave this room.

Edited 2017-06-11 18:41 (UTC)

[ Nachetanya sits up too. She doesn't pull off the other, but goes once more into the straddling position, holding her hand the whole time. Of course given Tsubasa has her hands around Nachetanya's one she can't quite pull her up, but she does tr to coax her into sitting up - Nachetanya can then scoot to allow for that better. After all, this is a somewhat more serious talk.

Her eyes swim a little as she processes this, both the words and her tone of voice. she inhales, exhales... And she wishes he had another hand to touch her with. In lieu of that, she leans her head forward to press their foreheads together. ]

I remember sleeping on the ground, looking up at the stars while the civil war happened. During that time, I wished and dreamed of nothing more than being able to sleep without the fear of death looming over me.

[ She says this sympathetically. To afford the same sort of ... well, she expects Tsubasa to relate, really, and Nachetanya is saying she understands. ]

Edited 2017-06-11 18:54 (UTC)

[ Tsubasa gets the message. She lets her forehead touch Nachetanya's, lets her breathe, gives her a moment for them both to catch their breath. She hears what she's saying, and she lets the moment linger; she's not used to showing her vulnerability like this, to exposing this part of herself to the light, but in the chaos of today and in the midst of the games they play, it's a moment of repose.

She never thought exposing that weakness would be so refreshing, even though that weakness doesn't show on her face. Her headache persists, though, and the beating in her chest does, too. ]

Your situation and mine are worlds apart. ...But I understand you.

[ Is it, though? That different from each other? The princess laughs a little bit and remains in this comfortable position for a while, her red eyes swimming. She feels comfortable like, to speak...

As equals?

She hums, ]

If you want to continue, Tsubasa, it would be your turn. [ But- ] But I am comfortable with this moment to last more.

My turn, huh?

[ She stays quiet as she mulls this over... ]

What made you want to ask me about that?

[ Not upset, or chiding; with all the cadence of someone asking "What's the weather looking like tomorrow?" ]

[ . . . Haha.

She shakes her head, her hair brushing against Tsubasa a little in the process ]

It's unpleasant that I still smell like Kogami's smoke, isn't it?

[ Maybe she should have a more serious question, but. ]

The smell doesn't bother me.

[ Only because not much seems to. ]

[ and now, breaking their rules: ]

Has our game excited you?

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