time for some re-ass-surance

[journalname]

[It's been a little while since Asgore did anything relating to the afterparties, and that's something he intends to correct today. Several hours after...everything that that execution was...notes in a neat script go out:]


If you do not wish to be alone, please come to the bar. I will provide food and drink in addition to what is there.

- King Asgore Dreemurr

[Even King Fluffybuns knows that people need booze after a day like today.

He indeed hasn't seemed to touch the alcohol at all, but god knows there's plenty available. Have at it, people who know more about mixing drinks than him. If you don't want to make your own, there's always the tea and coffee set out, as well as some simple food: soup, sandwiches, and two pies. One seems to be berry, and one...well, it looks a little like a pumpkin pie, but it's not quite the same color, and it's garnished with a couple of cinnamon sticks.

Maybe it's some recipe of Asgore's.]

Comments

[cthulwho]

So it is something that you suddenly find yourself having to face...and you must grow accustomed to it.

[Maybe grieving isn't something that one should ever be accustomed to, but Lovecraft is talking like it could be a thing that people do. It's just...foreign.]

Do you think you will be all right? ...I know it is not an easy thing to face.

[imaginex]

[Answering his question requires a certain level of honesty Sakura can barely acknowledge, even in her darkest moments. Her mouth twitches into a sad smile]

Maybe one day. [Maybe if she didn't watch one of her best friends get beheaded in front of her. Maybe if Sakura didn't feel this could've been improved if she and Nozomi had switched places on Thursday.]

Have you ever lost a friend, Lovecraft-san?

["Have you ever had a friend to lose?"]

[cthulwho]

[One day... Indeed, that seems to be there norm for human grieving. Lovecraft is aware that this process is a long one, and that there isn't much that can be done to speed it up. ...He wishes there was.

To Sakura's question, he...pauses. But not like his usual pauses. There's some serioua thought being put into this.]

No. I do not make friends easily, for obvious reasons. [...] My only friend back home was a captive. I will be honest that I considered his death a possibility.

[It was unpleasant. Even he can understand the humans in that regard.]

[imaginex]

[There's a small, sympathetic noise in the back of her throat.]

Steinback-san, correct?

[...]

The two of you work together on jobs. [Dangerous ones, from the patches of information she's gleaned away from their conversations]

Do you ever worry something will happen to him?

[cthulwho]

[He nods, as a general answer to those questions.]

Sometimes, yes. He is a very capable man, and I have no doubt that he would have been able to handle whatever might have happened in that location... But if anything, we have learned that plenty of capable people have still lost their lives here.

[An unfortunate truth. Abilities mean nothing here, and neither does quick wits it seems. Steinbeck is probably as vulnerable as the rest of them...]

But even outside of this place, I have to keep it in mind. He is human, and...death is inevitable for them.

[That's not meant to come off as harsh or dismissive. In fact, he seems pretty melancholy as he talks about it. He knows he will outlive Steinbeck if they both make it out of here, and it's hard to think about.]

[imaginex]

[Listening to him speak, Lovecraft ends up confirming a suspicion she's long since had, and now the worry etches visible lines into her face.]

Human life must seem so brief to you. [Little fireflies that burn themselves out in the night. She wonders if it's a kinder fate for Lovecraft to avoid ties with them.]

[cthulwho]

...Yes. [No sense in denying it.] It wasn't so much of an issue in the past, since I keep to myself anyway... But that is no longer the entire case. I...

[He looks to Sakura, a sudden awkwardness about his demeanor seeping through.]

...came across some that I care about.

[imaginex]

[She can't imagine being ages old, watching the world grow and fall and grow again (and she could never want that, no, not when life seems so cruelly long already), but the sentiment behind Lovecraft's words is something she's been forced to acknowledge herself.

Her smile is a little sad because of it]

You mean in the hospital? [Her eyes close, head nodding along in encouragement, warmth in her tone] Yes... there are good people worth caring about here.

[Though the phrasing of her words seems to imply she isn't including herself in this... because she isn't, frankly.]

[cthulwho]

[Well, Lovecraft certainly seems to be including her. He nods in return, keeping his gaze on her.]

I think that is why I wanted to check on you tonight. [...] That is what you do for those you care about, correct?

[Why is he asking her. He is so terrible at this.]

[imaginex]

[... Oh. Well. Her eyes certainly open at that, wide and uncomprehending, because they need to back up for a quick second. Yes, she heard that question, but she answers it with one of her own for now]

You were talking about me?

[That's unwise. Instinct encourages her to list better, more suitable names if Lovecraft is going to care about anyone. She can definitely think of a few. Instead she sits a little nervously and waits for his reply]

[cthulwho]

Yes. I have for some time now...

[After their conversations as of late, how he felt when he discovered how much Sakura was suffering... And after going to her door tonight and realizing he was worrying about her. Yes, that is what this must be.

Her reaction makes him feel...uneasy, though. He's not sure how to interpret it because this is his first time ever saying such things.]

I...hope that is okay.

[imaginex]

It's okay; I'm not upset.

[She's at least quick to make that clear. There are moments when Lovecraft's hesitancy reminds her of her own, and even if it's born of selfishness, she doesn't want to lose his goodwill.

Really, that's the problem here.]

-- I, um. I'm just-- [A pause. She avoids his gaze] I'm not very worthy of that...

[...]

I'm not a good person.

[cthulwho]

[He tilts his head at this, expression softening a little.]

Oh. [...] I am not sure why you would say that, but...it would not change my opinion of you, if you weren't. Concepts of "good" and "bad" in a moral sense...are constructs that I do not follow.

[It's his...nicer way of saying he wouldn't care either way.]

We have things in common, and you have been very accepting and understanding of me... That is what matters to me.

[imaginex]

[She's watching him again, in that way that she does when she's trying to detect lies. The weight of those comments are staggering, so much that believing them seems destined for failure. This is not an environment where you go around caring about others, and Nozomi has taught her why it's safer not to.

... ...]

I would be upset if something happened to you.

[She folds her legs up to her chest, rests her chin on her knees. Against the chair, she looks even smaller this way] You've never asked anything of me, and... you've been the kindest so far. I always feels relaxed around you. [Even compared to Rin, whom Sakura cares for, but doesn't always have the strength to bear her sharper remarks]

... What I mean to say is, I care about you, too.

[cthulwho]

[Listening to Sakura say these things...Lovecraft isn't sure if he could describe how it makes him feel. No one's ever said anything like that to him before. He's only ever tried to be himself, but Sakura is one of the few who has genuinely been accepting of that. Hearing that she can even feel relaxed around him, though... He takes that quite seriously, knowing how difficult social situations are for the two of them. And calling him kind...

He...finds himself fidgeting with the torn ends of his coat.]

That... I- [He tries to find his words.] It makes me...grateful, to hear...that.

[Who knew making friends would be this nerve-inducing...]

But...please do not worry about me. I do not intend to become a victim or kill. And I...wish to assure that it does not happen to you, either.

[imaginex]

[It takes effort, even courage to speak her mind, more than Sakura lets on, and she cannot help but hold her breath while hiding her nervousness behind the curve of her knees. Poor Lovecraft, though... he has no defenses, it seems. Fidgeting hands and stumbled words are symptoms the girl recognizes.

... It still leads to a smile on her end, a rare moment of tranquility she rarely lets the world see.]

Are you saying you're going to try and protect me?

[Don't. Please don't. Because fate has never been kind to her, and the last thing she wants to do is drag anyone else into the depths. It doesn't matter if she feels warmed by the attempt, knowing someone cares enough to offer. All she knows is that Lovecraft... shouldn't. She doesn't want to hurt him.]

[cthulwho]

[He watches Sakura, taking in that smile with curiosity, and hoping that it is a good sign. It's a pretty delicate subject, after all. At least he seems to think so.]

...Yes.

[Putting it in plain terms like that, yes. This goes beyond his contract with Rin. He's never done something like this willingly before, but...he really does want to try.]

I was bothered by what you told me in the halls the other day. I had not experienced a feeling quite like that, and...I think this is what it was. The desire to...protect.

[imaginex]

[It's one thing to assume Lovecraft's intent; it's another matter entirely when he comes out and says the words. This feels like a fragile gift has been placed in her hands, and she can only stare at it for fear of it breaking without gentle care.

Her eyes immediately retreat for the floor again.]

... What I told you about Grandfather, you mean. [She feels numb defeat in her chest, itching like a wound during the rain] That's--

[No, she tells herself. Focus on the here and now. She lets out a small breath and glances over her knees again]

... Alright.

But you... need to let me protect you in turn, if I can...