trustfelled | you'll be alright, no one can hurt you now

you'll be alright, no one can hurt you now

[ After a hell of a trial, Katniss needs to focus her energy into something. So, the afterparty it is. Since she's not good at this kind of stuff, she's had some help. She'll pass out invitations to anyone she passes by, or she'll slip them under the door. ]

[ There is some food set up, but it's very much in sealed containers. Cookies, specifically, along with anything else she could scrounge up. There are very tightly sealed bottles of drinks, too. After that whole thing, she figures it'd be best to tread with caution. She won't blame anyone who brings their own food, of course.

There are fixings for smoothies, just in case someone's feeling it. Katniss has set up a couple of blenders around the game room. There's also some surf 'n' turf food, to honor Mack, too.

There are some decorations--courtesy of the guys, of course, because how the heck do you decorate for anything. ]

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[Handwaving is fine!]

I don't have any particular preferences. Please suggest a game you usually play back at your home.

Sure thing.

[insert some card game here, why do i keep doing top levels involving things i know nothing about??

And as they're playing...]

Are you holding up okay?

[That's one of the many woes of roleplaying]

...I think I'll be okay. It's strange to think about it, I was just starting to know Russell-kun and Mitchell-san better. They...they were good people.

[She'll miss seeing them around]

They were, yeah.

[Did they ever figure out what was going on with their memories...?]

It's terrible that this happened to them.

[Doubtful they did]

As a detective most of the cases I have worked in didn't involve people I know.

[Naoto looks away from her cards, thoughtful]

Now it has been four cases in a row where both victims and killers are people I met and talked with. I'm not sure how to feel about that...

[You're the one adult who understands what's it like, arne't you, Isaac? Hope you don't mind playing listener for a second!]

[Listening is the one social thing he's good at doing!!]

No, I get it. I mean, I'm not a detective and I don't know what that's like, but when you can separate yourself from things a bit it makes it a lot easier.

[Admittedly with him the problem is actually sympathizing with both the victims and the murderers, because he's a soldier and he's killed people and boy is he still super fucked up about it!!]

It's a lot to take in. This is all way more personal because we're trapped in here with each other. Even if we tried to be distant, we'd still end up with some sort of fondness for one another. What you're going through is pretty normal, I'd think.

...you're right. I guess it's futile to try to be distant.

[...]

A reason why I'm trying to be distant is because...last time someone I knew was a victim, and my investigation partners and I found a likely suspect...

...we almost murdered him. I had a big part in that.

[She's sure that if she hadn't insinuated how unfortunate it'd be for the suspect to 'fall into the TV and find there's no way out', others wouldn't have entertained the thought of throwing him in there]

[...WELL THAT ESCALATED QUICKLY]

Really? You?

[Naoto, you seem like one of the most level-headed people here. How did this happen???]

...What happened?

[She's definitely level-headed, but everyone has a breaking point, a lapsus in judgment. Hers came at that time...]

I was working in a serial murder case back in my world. After a few months I met a group of people of my age that were investigating the case, and I got involved with them.

One night, our leader's cousin, a six year old girl, was kidnapped by a suspect. His actions led to her hospitalization and his arrest, and soon he was being charged with all the deaths and kidnappings that had happened. The suspect was hospitalized too.

...that girl died in the hospital. We...we all had been rather close to her, she had a certain something that made her cherished by everyone. Her father went to confront the suspect, and we stopped him before he could enter the suspect's room. The problem was that just after her father left, we found the suspect trying to escape.

[And then arguments happened, and the supposed Shadow of the suspect talked through the Midnight Channel about how he'd get away with it and continue with his 'mission'. How to explain that?]

...long story short, through certain supernatural nuances I won't explain in depth right now, we were led to believe the suspect had a complete lack of remorse, that he wouldn't get punished by anything due to lack of evidence - which was true, the case had a supernatural side only me and my friends knew about - and that after getting away with it he'd continue potentially killing people.

Some of us got very angry, and...we almost made the mistake of killing him to stop him. What makes it even worse is that, despite being guilty for almost all the kidnappings, he had never killed anyone.

[Naoto has forgotten the card game by now. She's too focused on her own story]

I'm ashamed for how I behaved. I let my anger get to my head and almost was complicit in someone's murder. It's...something I'll be always ashamed about.

Edited 2016-08-01 02:54 (UTC)

[..................................]

Are you kidding me? I would've killed him.

[ISAAC]

No, that's... I can't tell you how to feel and if you're going to be mad at yourself about it, then that's... well, that's your choice. But I don't think you need to be. I think most people would be pissed off enough to consider killing him.

[MOST PEOPLE DON'T RESORT TO MURDER IMMEDIATELY OH MY GOD I'M SO SORRY NAOTO]

[Naoto had always told herself other people would have done the same, that it didn't mean she was a bad person, and that anyone would let anger cloud their judgment.

It's one thing to tell that to oneself and a different thing to hear it directly. Naoto had never told anyone back at home, but since Isaac was an adult, from a different world, and a soldier, she thought he'd be the best person to tell that to.

...she feels a bit better, though]

Yes, I imagine many would feel the same, but it also worries me because...if I was once almost pushed to kill someone...would it be a possible I fall into temptation by Juri-san's incentives?

I don't want to believe I would, but that precedent makes me be very concerned it could happen.

[Logic and precedents don't define a person's behavior, and Naoto hasn't felt seriously tempted by any motive yet...but it's something she's fearing. What can one say, a murdergame causes this type of feelings.

But despite all that, she's completely sure that, even if she somehow ended killing someone, she wouldn't stand aside and let everyone vote for someone innocent. She wouldn't tolerate the deaths of so many innocent people in exchange of hers]

...I understand why it's a worry, yeah.

[He rests his elbow on the table and props his chin on his hand while he thinks about it.]

I'm sure whatever incentives or threats he'll give us are going to be tricky to ignore. But it comes down to what you're willing to do to act on it. Are you willing to sacrifice everyone here for any reason? Are you willing to take a life with your own hands for that reason?

It's a terrifying thought. And that's how it should be. Perhaps the best way to combat that is to get close to the people here, so you can't stand to lose them.

[Of course, that doesn't mean that they'll be safe. It might hurt even more if they're killed.]

[After a moment of silence Naoto returns her attention to the cards]

I'm completely sure I would never sacrifice everyone. I wouldn't let it happen.

[...]

There's no way to win, is there? Being distant leads to not valuing people, and being social leaves us wide open to the pain that'll inevitably come.

Yeah. That's exactly the problem here. Trying to hold everyone at a distance is hard anyway.

[That was what he was trying to do at first and he got really attached way too quickly...]

...it's easy to do, McDougal-san. Being abrasive usually works well.

[She knows it, yep]

If Juri-san or whoever brought us all here had made me believe my arrival memories were just a few months earlier than they actually were, I wouldn't have bothered to try to talk to anyone. I wasn't exactly a people person back then.

['I'm not interested in 'hanging out', and I'm not interested in you']

...I'm sorry to hear it. I'm not sure if it's a good thing to get attached to everyone. But it's kinda nice, I guess?

[Isaac has no friends, this is not surprising.]

Have you changed a lot in your memories?

The investigation team I was working with to catch that serial killer was of people of my age. By the time the case got solved we all were close friends.

To be honest it's not something I thought would happen.

[So yes, she thinks she has changed a lot...and apparently there's a lot more of change to be aware of, too]

It's nice that you were able to bond with them. Have some of your memories been good ones, then?

Other than my first set of memories it seems most could be classified as 'good'. It's better that way. The less stressed I feel, the better.

What about yours?

Edited 2016-08-01 20:34 (UTC)

Yeah, that's really nice. I think I've had one nice one, and that involved tearing my back open, so uh.

[war is hell??? isaac's life is hell after the war???]

...sorry, I think I didn't hear correctly.

[Because what the hell. Since when tearing your back open can be considered a good memory. Are you secretly some kind of lizard hybrid and you molted your skin and that's why it's a good memory or what]

Edited 2016-08-02 15:23 (UTC)

...Tearing my back open wasn't the nice part. That really hurt. Obviously. But uh, the rest of the dream was nice?

[HE... HE TRIED......... also pain only makes isaac stronger HE USES HIS BLOOD AS A WEAPON IT'S FINE]

You had me quite worried for a moment.

[If that had been the nice part of the dream then it'd be some hardcore masochism and too much information about good ol' Isaac]

What was the rest of the dream like?

Edited 2016-08-02 20:23 (UTC)

[don't worry he keeps his kinks to himself!!]

I spoke with a... well, he's not exactly a friend. A fellow State Alchemist. He told me I was the craziest person in the war for trying to use my own blood as a weapon.

[HE SOUNDS SO PROUD.... and then he realizes how fucked up that sounds.]

It uh... It was something I had researched in theory but I hadn't attempted it before. So it saved my life. And he uh... well, he's someone I... admire, I guess?

[he's got it so bad for senpai]

[The approval of your elders is something she can understand. She can kind of overlook the 'I used my blood' part because of how familiar that is]

Having the approval of someone you admire is something to be proud about.

[...okay, she wasn't capable of overlooking it. Naoto stares at her cards]

...using your blood as a weapon? Why do I feel I may regret asking how exactly you did that?

[But she asked, either way]

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glaciates - 2016-08-03 04:30 (UTC) - Expand

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