trustfelled | Kind words do not cost much. Yet they accomplish much.

Kind words do not cost much. Yet they accomplish much.

[Well, that was one hell of a trial. Kogami’s tired and hungry. He’ll get his staple hamburgers, but maybe he’ll be nice enough to help make some for everyone.

So there’s a note that goes out:]

Food in the dining hall – K, P, Q, & R

[It’s quickly written and straightforward.

And indeed there is food. There’s a shitton of hamburgers made by Kogami and Rose, the sliced cheese prepared by Pizzaz, and cake by QQ. Pickles, ketchup, mustard, mayonnaise and other such condiments are set out as well as an assortment of buns.

There’s not lighted candles this time, so it’s clear that the usual preparers didn’t help with this ‘buffet’. (Well, if it wasn’t clear with the note).

So rest, relax, and well, you’re probably going to have to get your own drinks this time, sorry…]

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[ [girl_laughing_alone_with_salad.jpg]

Well, he'd better answer that honestly.]

I asked Matou earlier and mentioned that people would be suspicious of both of you from here on out. Specifically, I asked what your relationship was and the only two answers she gave me was that "you're fellow mages" and that "you need to stay alive to protect a boy she holds dear".

[A nod.]

Suffice to say, I think that's a safe bet to make that people will be suspicious of you both, if they aren't already. That said, can you tell me what you relationship with Matou is?

Edited 2017-06-25 06:19 (UTC)

[Rin notably stiffens at those words, eyes snapping back to his.]

I was getting to that.

[But it's clear from her voice that now she's not so sure she should.]

How hard did you push Sakura, Kogami?

[She knows how laser-focused he gets when he thinks he's sniffed something out. They have every trial to thank for that.]

[Well, uh... he landed himself it some sort of minefield, didn't he?

He considers taking out a cigarette, damn he wants one, but now's not the time. Kogami will answer honestly.]

I pushed her rather hard, to the point that she both spoke and looked at me as if she had lost emotion.

[Congrats, Rin! Kogami is aware he's a fucking asshole!]

I said some harsh words to her. Her response to me was that if push came to shove, she'd do the same thing to me as she did to you if it seemed I was at risk to murder someone. Though admittedly, she said that because I told her that maybe I should stop trying to attempt to befriend her if the end result was her slipping sleeping pills into my drink because she didn't trust me.

[HE'S AWARE THAT HE'S A FUCKING ASSHOLE.]

Edited 2017-06-25 06:40 (UTC)

You're terrible. She likes you, you know that?

[Rin looks furious, but she's actually not leaving. It's precisely because Kogami has been honest.]

This information is now conditional. If you want to hear what I have to say, you're going to apologize to her. I don't care if it's tomorrow or the next day, but you need to do it. You can have a relationship with her that I can't, so I can't fix this for you.

[Some part of him is aware that him and Sakura have a friendly relationship-- and that it's partially his fault that it's imploding because he's being... him.]

So you're telling me to apologize so you can live vicariously through me?

[He scoffs.]

I'll apologize, only because if what you're saying is true, then I need to do that much. I figured it would be better if things were this way. [However, Rin's telling him that may not be the case.]

Though what relationship can't you have with her that I can? [Because that's what's throwing him off.]

["So you're telling me to apologize so you can live vicariously through me?"

No. Rin has her own apology to make, which will come after this. But for some reason she can't stand the idea that moving forward she and Kogami and have a stable relationship when he and Sakura are on the odds.

She'd never eavesdropped, but she spotted them together enough that she could tell Sakura liked Kogami. And his body language was always different with her than it was with Rin herself.

Which is why she believes that he genuinely was trying to befriend her, and that he'll apologize for this. If Rin's wrong about that, she'll hurt him. But she'll take a gamble just this once.

"...what relationship can't you have with her that I can?"]

Any kind.

[Rin answers finally, fingers grasped at her chest and eyes on Kogami's shoes.]

That was a key component of the deal made between the Matou and Toshaka families. No contact.

If that was the case, then you wouldn't be struggling right now with this.

[He feels like he's getting a clearer idea. He's not sure what it is exactly, but something's there. These girls are close despite the fact that it sounds like it's forbidden. It doesn't seem like an ill-fated friendship because they would have known given their names.]

Once again, what is your relationship with Matou?

[She said this was conditional upon an apology, however, he's going to press again.]

[Rin steels herself, and comes out with it.]

Sakura Matou is my biological sister.

[It's not hard. It's been a secret all of these years for necessity, just as it's necessity someone else knows.

Rin will watch Kogami carefully for his reaction.]

[Kogami opens his mouth for a second. He's not sure if that was the answer that was expecting, but now all the pieces are falling into place. Now everything makes sense. There's no way in fucking hell that Rin is lying about this.

And then he closes his mouth. Give him a moment.]

I'll apologize to Matou tomorrow.

[He won't ask any further questions as if studying Rin and her answer finally gave him a satisfactory answer he'll accept.]

Good.

[She folds her arms.]

And don't use this information against her. It's one thing if it becomes relevant in a trial, but if you use it to hurt her, I'll get angry. I'll never forgive you.

Edited 2017-06-25 07:32 (UTC)

[He shakes his head.]

I won't. Nor will I let anyone know, unless it becomes absolutely necessary. [In indicting either of them or saving either of them.]

My intention isn't to ever hurt her. I just figure that perhaps it's best to keep distance between us.

[She's still a sweet girl in his eyes, but he probably wouldn't be a good influence on her fragile mind. He feels like he's seen this over... and over... and over... in the past three weeks.]

[Her shoulders sag just a bit, in clear relief. That had been another condition she had wanted to add, but wasn't sure how far she could push her luck. That he offers it voluntarily takes a load off her mind.]

That's up to you to decide. There's a decent person in you somewhere; she wouldn't like you if there weren't.

But it would be a shame if both of us have to do that. I don't have a choice in the matter, but you do. You should consider it carefully.

[A decent person, huh? He's pretty sure the Rin of two weeks ago wouldn't have said that.

...weird.]

I'll try not to upset her anymore, then.

[It's weird when people look up to him...]

[The Rin of two weeks ago would have had no reason.]

Good.

[He's so meek tonight. Even when she was angrily ordering him about, he hardly fired anything back. Kogami said he wouldn't be going to sleep anytime soon, but he really must be tired.

His weariness has a direct effect on her, sucking the wind from her sails and leaving her with no momentum. Stranded at sea. It's dangerous here. She doesn't have sea legs.]

See? You're already being irritatingly understanding about the whole thing.

[Rin's smiling as she says that, but tilt your head and it doesn't look like it; doesn't meet her eyes. There's something self-abasing there instead. Her shoulders are sagged in relief, but her elbows and knees are locked tense. She hasn't retreated, but she keeps having a hard time looking at him, except when she feels she must.

Despite the word choice there, she doesn't look irritated. Rin looks shaken; her body language is a mess of contradictions.]

[He's watching her. Watching her avert her eyes from him. Watching her words and her reactions not match. To the amateur, it would probably just read as resignation, however, Kogami reads more into it. She came in with a mission, she got it, but it seems she got it too easily. Like she was expecting a fight and didn't get the satisfaction of it.

It's like she hasn't accepted him, but she's accepted the position he's somehow found himself in. Jealousy? Envy...

She's relying on him... that's something she probably had a hard time doing...

...she's doing this for Sakura.

...she's asking this of him for Sakura.

...she's probably begging. And it kills her. It's weird.

This is all weird. No, don't rely on him. He's a hound dog. He's not human.]

You've put me in a rough position, and not to mention just trusted me with a secret. [Granted, he fucking forced it out of Rin thanks to probably cornering Sakura.]

If you're asking me to do what you can't, then I'll try my best. Perhaps the three of us could meet over food this upcoming week and just have a chat.

[He'll be the mediator. It's okay. It's better that way. He's a tool. He's meant... to be used.]

[He's got about half of it right. Rin hates relying on others, and especially putting another in a position of control over her. Begging like this kills her. But envy isn't what's unsettling her.

Honestly, Rin especially wouldn't be able to explain what's unsettling her, because she herself is unaware of the finer details. They'd have to ask a certain priest for that.

Unconsciously, she expects her vulnerabilities to be exploited. Weeks ago, Kogami already indirectly threatened to once. And so did other people today, which is why Rin had to hurt herself to protect herself.

Thinking of that, when he makes such an uncharacteristically kind offer, she can only lift her head and smile at him.]

You're joking, right? [The smile is bittersweet.] Think about it. If anything, she and I have to be more careful now than ever before.

[Though maybe there's better ways to deflect suspicion other than being around each other less. If he has a better suggestion, Rin is open to it.]

[It's true, that could potentially hurt them if they're found near one another now. Hah, it's hilarious that they're roomed across from each other, thinking about it. Like a cruel joke.

Uncharacteristically kind, though, huh? Maybe it's because despite all that's happened, he's come to like the person known as Rin Tohsaka. While he didn't show it, it was obvious at the trial when he didn't slam on to her and in fact did what he could to keep suspicion off of her.

Like Kogami not only knew, but also wasn't even going to entertain the idea either because it may have hurt to do just that.]

Tell me what you want me to do exactly. I'll try my best to do just that.

[Give him orders. Be a temporary owner of his ~~just don't tell Danny~~.]

[Gosh, Kogami. You want another master and her she is without her Command Seals. Actually, it's probably because there's no order involved it surprises her so. It wipes the smile from her face, leaving an openly surprised expression in its wake.]

Huh? What I want you to do?

[...She's confused. He's offering to help here, but she's not sure why or in what angle. Help move suspicion off them? Help them get to know— Haha, no, that's silly. She entertained the thought last night at the Transmitter's insistence, and look where it got her. That's not a thing they can afford to hope.]

[Hey, he has two owners at home, why can't he have two owners here? He just disobeys, sometimes. Still, he smirks at her reaction. It's clearly not what she expected of Kogami.]

Yes, what you want me to do.

[Maybe she hasn't gotten the spiel from Kogami yet.]

I'm a hound dog after all. A latent criminal. A tool. I have 'owners', inspectors, back home that tell me what to do. Though I disobey sometimes. I don't hunt down other criminals as an enforcer without supervision.

[He totally has, though. Poor Tsunemori about got ripped a new one from Gino thanks to that. Luckily, the situation punished the girl enough that no one had the heart to punish her back at the job. That and Kogami did come back.]

Unless you want me to do whatever the hell I want, I think it's best you just tell me what you want me to do.

[...honestly, this is kind of a way of telling Rin that he respects her.]

[It's a good thing he adds that at the end, otherwise Rin would have made a joke about cleaning her room for her. Or worse, something inappropriate, blah blah blah, kinky. Rin gets awkward when people make it past her defenses; she gets weird, she gets rude.

But putting it like that evens her out. The effect is immediate; her posture more refined, and the last of her tension suddenly slipping out of her. She hasn't heard this story from him directly, but she's gotten hints from Nachetanya. If she were a normal person, it would feel strange or a bit sad, but Rin has spent ten years of her life training to be a Master. It's terms she can understand.

She still doesn't know what he's offering, but that's her position to figure out, not his. Rin tilts her head, pondering that carefully for some time.]

...I want you to shift suspicion off of us being around each other.

[That's too vague.]

Don't make yourself look bad doing so; just hide the questionable things with truths if it comes up around you. Sakura and I have rooms right across the hall from each other, and we're mages from cooperating but rival families that have been at odds and evens for centuries. In the current circumstances at home we would be enemies. Right now we're trying to put aside those differences for the sake of survival, but it's going rough.

When you cornered Sakura today, you made her confess all of that. If anyone asks, she told you she was feeling more friendly towards me than she should have been, and forgot we were enemies. Now she's worried I'm going to betray that alliance.

[Pragmatic interests first, personal last. She nearly doesn't add it at all, but it's a selfish want. It's his fault, really, for putting it into her head. Rin's demeanor shifts slightly; she remains firm, but now her voice sounds a little more unsure.]

...The rest of this is secondary. Don't concern yourself if it's not possible. [Cough.] It's not that I care that much, but not being able to talk strategy with Sakura is inconvenient.

So if you intend to bring us together more openly, than the excuse is after hearing all that from her it pissed you off. Not because you cared or anything, but because I could actually do it. I threatened to kill everyone last Tuesday after all, for my own selfish interests.

Per your suggestion, if this suggestion comes to pass you're acting as the mediating third party, making sure I forgive her for her slight against me and don't threaten the rest of you again. This is the part where you "do whatever the hell you want" because if I instruct you anymore than this, it will be obvious and reflect badly.

[Hearing such instructions puts a smile on Kogami's face. This is what he wanted. It's weird, but it's a sense of trust that he enjoys. Orders, as much as he hates them, he also thrives off of them and for some reason his words resonated with her.]

As far as I'm concerned, you haven't told me a single lie, so I can work with that. [They're just hiding one truth that would hurt them. He can totally do that.]

I'm simply watching over the both of you for the greater good of the group. That's all. And if you meet in public, it's because I'm trying to make sure relations are restored so that Sakura won't go to such lengths because you pulled a dumbass stunt of threatening to kill someone again. We're working as a group and open betrayal only causes someone to have a target on their back.

[His smile turns into a smirk as he gives her two pretty forceful pats on the back.]

It's a miracle no one killed you after that. I sure would have gone for it if I really wanted my secret hidden. Figured it would be a two for one deal.

[Rin takes those pats on the back well, for the strength he puts into them and for being a petite, 5'2 tall girl. Not being drugged up to her eyeballs helps, but she's got some resilience going on there.

This has, by some twist, been the best thing to happen for her all day. She's more grounded, and that he understood her orders precisely makes her feel like this is a proper partnership that can work, even if only in the short-term.]

I was surprised no one came after me either. [She beams, hands on her hips.] I was waiting for it.

Were you waiting for it because then that would be your target?

[Oh my fucking God, Rin, you are stupid. That's a total Kogami move if that ends up being the case. This is a dangerous partnership. Abort, abort.

Still, she seems a lot happier now, like a weight has been lifted off of her. He's glad that he could help in that. He's surprised he could help in that, which means that he really does need to try hard to make amends with Sakura. It's just really the right thing to do at this point.]

[She intentionally does things the hard way sometimes, okok.]

That was the idea. I thought Nachetanya understood, but it looks like she concluded I meant to catch her in the trial.

[Win or lose, she could have been satisfied with that fight. Anyone coming to her really wouldn't have let her down, but some would have given her a harder time than others. In a normal situation she would be pragmatic, but for one week only (as she sees it) the game changed. Rin hates altruism, but she demonstrates her own strange brand of honor before reason occasionally.

She lives life by her own standards, really.]

Oh, but I guess I wouldn't know it she or anyone else sought me out last night.

Kind words do not cost much. Yet they accomplish much.

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warning for drug slippage

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1/2; there's so much tl;dr here, I'm so sorry

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